Another month, come and gone. I’m still in the routine of scheduling something (anything) for each weekend. Going home, a concert, Homecoming at Hope, Nykertk, visting Beamer (THIS WEEKEND YEEE). It doesn’t exactly make regular church-going easy since I’m gone most Sundays, but you know how it is.
Month two of teaching has been different. Not exactly better, definitely not worse. It’s becoming more routine and starting each day is less overwhelming. Though the work week has become something routine, it somehow manages to have its uncertainties. Will kids learn anything? Will so-and-so have a good day or a bad day? Will everyone else follow along? Will I remember to pack a lunch? (probably not…)
As a middle school team and as individual teachers, we’re starting to talk about goals - where do we want to be and when - and it’s sometimes daunting. I’m just now getting used to the every-day, the wake-up-get-dressed-drive-in-the-dark mornings and the first-hour-is-an-eternity-second-is-a-toss-up-when-is-lunch days and the go-home-grade-homework-watch-netflix evenings. Just as things are starting to settle, to feel like I know what’s coming, I’m asked to change. It’s not impossible, and its necessary, but it’s hard. I know that in life we’re asked over and over to change, to grow, to be better. I know. But stretching still hurts before it helps.
But that’s what life is, right? Getting used to the unusual moments in life, so that they don’t cause us to topple over, finding a balance between expecting and letting ourselves be surprised. I don’t ever want to get to a point where I’m absolutely sure of what happens next, but maybe having that certainty with middle schoolers would be nice (but impossible).
So I haven’t quit yet.
I haven’t died yet.
Most todays are better than their yesterdays.
I don’t love my job every day, but I love my team and these kids in even the ugly moments. And that has me believing that I’m doing something right.